Baggage

You know those friends who you sometimes don't see for months or even years, but then when you get together it's like no time has passed and you can't imagine them ever having been gone? I had a wicked visit these past few days with one of my friends who falls in to that category. Georgeanne has been off the continent for most of the last two years, and although we kept as up to date as we could, I haven't seen her little face since July 2008. She's one of those people who makes you feel so comfortable that you begin to push your own boundaries without even realizing it. She has always been an agent of newness and unfamiliarity in my life, from the smallest thing like listening to some weird new music, all the way to allowing myself to be set up on a blind date (at least, as blind as dates can be in the age of delicious privacy-invasion). This visit was no different, and she drove away today leaving my mind feeling exhausted but expanded and I'm so thankful she stopped by.

The last time we were together, I was dealing with some major emotional baggage that I had just picked up and have been carrying with me since then. Included in this emotional carry-on was one very concrete mistake in the form of the Flying Fox, seen here (by CanarySanctuary on Ravelry). I was originally attracted to this pattern because it was pretty, but mostly because the name matched with my cell-phone number, and the gauge matched with $50 worth of Knit Picks Comfy in "Blackberry" that I already had.














Problem was, I SO don't have the body for this top. I'm not fishing, I just simply know that I need something with more structure and less emphasis on the upper arms, so while it looks lovely on this lady, there was no way I was going to be rocking this. I chose to ignore that fact as long as possible which resulted in my carrying the knit-baggage around for almost two years.

Two months ago, in a fit of house cleaning and searching for ways to knit without spending money, I ripped my 75%-finished Fox out completely and started in on a completely new project: The Lillian Tank Top by Amanda Reed. Through a combination of two years' worth of acquired knitting skills and a more mature outlook on life, I have now completed a top I am in love with. It fits, it emphasizes lots of good places, it's feminine without being ruffly or flouncy, and since it's cotton, I can even wear it in this ridiculous heat wave! (42 degree humidex today = NOT OK).

So the summary of this story is that I am rather proud of myself for managing to take the physical manifestation of two years' worth of emotional baggage, rip it apart, and make it up anew in to something that fits me as I am. And the best part is, I was wearing this top when Georgeanne helped me to confront, accept, move past, and even make the best of the emotional element of my two-year-old issue. Today my life feels stronger and richer because of it, and I'm pleased to be looking good throughout. Better pictures to come when I have them!



xoxox,
-A